{"id":3266,"date":"2012-08-29T13:00:01","date_gmt":"2012-08-29T13:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/5.189.155.120\/~shqipo\/?p=3266"},"modified":"2018-02-21T13:24:52","modified_gmt":"2018-02-21T13:24:52","slug":"ne-kohen-e-dasmave","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/shqip.al\/ne-kohen-e-dasmave\/","title":{"rendered":"N\u00eb koh\u00ebn e dasmave…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Vera \u00ebsht\u00eb periudha m\u00eb e bukur ku shum\u00eb vajza d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb t\u00eb realizojn\u00eb dasm\u00ebn e tyre. T\u00eb paturit e nj\u00eb martese t\u00eb mbar\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb sa e leht\u00eb aq edhe e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. Por m\u00ebnyra se si e nis at\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb se e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme. Si t\u00eb menaxhoni stresin para-martes\u00ebs, qendrimi vet\u00ebm, apo me personat e duhur, evitimi i z\u00ebnkave jan\u00eb disa prej k\u00ebshillave q\u00eb duhen marr\u00eb parasysh<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cN\u00ebse \u00e7iftet nuk do t\u00eb ziheshin p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb, at\u00ebher\u00eb debati dhe interesi ndaj nj\u00ebri tjetrit do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se mungon. Z\u00ebnkat me sa duket kan\u00eb edhe an\u00ebn e tyre pozitive, sigurisht deri n\u00eb momentin q\u00eb e b\u00ebjn\u00eb martes\u00ebn t\u00eb \u201ck\u00ebrcej\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb pist\u00ebn e duhur, pasi z\u00ebnkat e tepruara sjellin vet\u00ebm rr\u00ebzimin e saj. Por ajo q\u00eb sugjerojn\u00eb psikolog\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb mos krijoni z\u00ebnka me partnerin tuaj ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht n\u00eb dit\u00ebt e p\u00ebrgatitjes s\u00eb ceremonis\u00eb suaj. Dasma \u00ebsht\u00eb kuror\u00ebzimi i dashuris\u00eb suaj ndaj edhe pse mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb mundohuni t\u00eb evitoni zenkat dhe streset e krijuara me t\u00eb dashurin tuaj.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lista e madhe e t\u00eb ftuarve, detajet e nj\u00eb ceremonie t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme n\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00ebnde b\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb ndihesh m\u00ebse e stresuar para nj\u00eb dasme t\u00eb madhe. Por kjo gjendje \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb se normale. B\u00ebj nj\u00eb frym\u00ebmarrje t\u00eb thell\u00eb, dhe p\u00ebrgatitu emocionalisht dhe fizikisht p\u00ebr dasm\u00ebn t\u00ebnde duke menduar me shum\u00eb qet\u00ebsi. Mendo p\u00ebr lumturin\u00eb t\u00ebnde pa u frik\u00ebsuar. Pak stres gjithsesi t\u00eb ndihmon p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur q\u00ebllimet dhe objektivat e nj\u00eb ceremonie t\u00eb mir\u00eborganizuar. Edhe zgjedhja e ushqimit cil\u00ebsor b\u00ebn mir\u00eb n\u00eb menaxhimin e stresit.\u201d<\/p>\n

Vler\u00ebsoje at\u00eb<\/p>\n

T\u00eb qenurit n\u00eb qend\u00ebr t\u00eb v\u00ebmendjes \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon ndofta n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pand\u00ebrgjegjshme egoja e gjithsecilit. Na p\u00eblqen t\u00eb na lavd\u00ebrojn\u00eb t\u00eb na atribuojn\u00eb cil\u00ebsit\u00eb, vlerat dhe arritjet q\u00eb kemi realizuar. N\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn m\u00ebnyr\u00eb reciproke edhe partneri do t\u00eb meritonte t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn v\u00ebmendje, p\u00ebrkushtim e mbi t\u00eb gjitha vler\u00ebsim. N\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit n\u00eb nj\u00eb proces t\u00eb till\u00eb nxit\u00ebs ndjenjash, q\u00eb prodhon lumturi ashtu sikurse edhe m\u00ebrzitje, nuk duhet t\u00eb presim vet\u00ebm outpute por edhe inpute t\u00eb tipit vler\u00ebsues. \u00cbsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme t\u00eb shprehim ndjenjat tona, sidomos ato q\u00eb n\u00eb thelbin e tyre p\u00ebrmbajn\u00eb dashuri. Sepse edhe \u00e7el\u00ebsi i nj\u00eb martese t\u00eb suksesshme \u00ebsht\u00eb dashuria dhe m\u00ebnyra se si e tej\u00e7ojm\u00eb at\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Si t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatiteni p\u00ebr nj\u00eb martes\u00eb t\u00eb mbar\u00eb<\/strong><\/p>\n

Martesa \u00ebsht\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia q\u00eb shpeshher\u00eb m\u00eb te drejt\u00eb mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktohet me termin \u201cbeteja e \u00e7ifteve\u201d. Me sa duket termi merr shkas nga martesat e fundit n\u00eb koh\u00eb si dukuri sociale. Pasi s\u00eb fundmi gj\u00ebrat kan\u00eb ndryshuar, duke b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet shoq\u00ebrore mos t\u00eb jen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjta, ndaj dhe e drejta e individ\u00ebve p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb lir\u00eb e vetk\u00ebrkues \u00ebsht\u00eb par\u00eb n\u00eb raportet midis partner\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

D\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb pasur nj\u00eb martes\u00eb t\u00eb bukur, t\u00eb gjat\u00eb, dometh\u00ebn\u00ebse, nj\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetje q\u00eb ke k\u00ebrkuar vazhdimisht \u00ebsht\u00eb te t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ne. Ndaj kemi nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb fare mir\u00eb mund ta quajm\u00eb si \u201cmartes\u00eb t\u00eb zgjuar\u201d, nj\u00eb martes\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebrve\u00e7se do t\u00eb gjenim vetveten do t\u00eb ngulmonim fare mir\u00eb p\u00ebr vazhdim\u00ebsin\u00eb e po ashtu jet\u00ebgjat\u00ebsin\u00eb e saj.<\/p>\n

Sekretet p\u00ebr nj\u00eb raport t\u00eb suksessh\u00ebm i gjejm\u00eb t\u00eb mbjellura n\u00eb shum\u00eb aspekte. Mjafton t\u00eb dim\u00eb se si t\u00eb p\u00ebrkushtohemi, dhurojm\u00eb romanc\u00eb, falim pozitivitet, artikulojm\u00eb men\u00e7uri, t\u00eb dim\u00eb t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb ashtu sikurse t\u00eb pranojm\u00eb edhe propozimet e ndryshimeve\u00a0 q\u00eb na b\u00ebhen.<\/p>\n

Procesi i martes\u00ebs, e ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht asaj t\u00eb suksesshme, mbart gene t\u00eb nj\u00eb filozofie t\u00eb plakur me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn duhet t\u00eb m\u00ebsojm\u00eb t\u00eb bashk\u00ebjetojm\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb kuptimin m\u00eb t\u00eb bukur prej saj.<\/p>\n

Si ta menaxhosh stresin<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lista e madhe e t\u00eb ftuarve, detajet e nj\u00eb ceremonie t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme n\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00ebnde b\u00ebn q\u00eb t\u00eb ndihesh m\u00ebse e stresuar para nj\u00eb dasme t\u00eb madhe. Por kjo gjendje \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb se normale. B\u00ebj nj\u00eb frym\u00ebmarrje t\u00eb thell\u00eb, dhe p\u00ebrgatitu emocionalisht dhe fizikisht p\u00ebr dasm\u00ebn t\u00ebnde duke menduar me shum\u00eb qet\u00ebsi. Mendo p\u00ebr lumturin\u00eb t\u00ebnde pa u frik\u00ebsuar. Pak stres gjithsesi t\u00eb ndihmon p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur q\u00ebllimet dhe objektivat e nj\u00eb ceremonie t\u00eb mir\u00eborganizuar. Edhe zgjedhja e ushqimit cil\u00ebsor b\u00ebn mir\u00eb n\u00eb menaxhimin e stresit.<\/p>\n

\"\"Roli yt si bashk\u00ebshorte<\/strong><\/p>\n

Identiteti yt do t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb t\u00ebrsisht pas ceremons\u00eb martesore. Ti nuk do jesh m\u00eb vajza e fejuar q\u00eb ke koh\u00ebn e lir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb gj\u00ebra e p\u00ebr t\u2019i marr\u00eb m\u00eb me l\u00ebht\u00ebsi. Roli yt do t\u00eb ndryshoj\u00eb, nga vajza e dashuruar do t\u00eb transformohesh n\u00eb gruan e martuar q\u00eb e presin p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi t\u00eb reja. Tashm\u00eb do jesh nj\u00eb bashk\u00ebshorte q\u00eb do i duhet t\u00eb mendoj\u00eb p\u00ebr karrier\u00ebn, dashurin\u00eb, pun\u00ebn apo dhe t\u00eb qenurit n\u00ebn\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ta fillosh me zgjuarsi\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

T\u00eb martuarit nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e thjesht\u00eb n\u00eb bot\u00eb. Sepse t\u00eb martohesh do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb gjesh njeriun dhe partnerin e duhur tek i cili merr dhe jep mb\u00ebshtetje n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb reciproke. Filozofia kryesore e martes\u00ebs s\u00eb zgjuar \u00ebsht\u00eb dashuria e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb q\u00eb ekziston midis partner\u00ebve. \u00cbsht\u00eb ajo lloj dashurie q\u00eb shkon p\u00ebrtej paras\u00eb, ambicies personale, pun\u00ebs s\u00eb suksesshme apo karrier\u00ebs personale, ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb edhe sh\u00ebndetit. E n\u00eb fakt n\u00eb fjal\u00eb t\u00eb tilla do t\u00eb kuptonim dashurin\u00eb ideale q\u00eb rrall\u00eb se ekziston. N\u00ebse asnj\u00ebra nga vlerat e m\u00ebsip\u00ebrme nuk plot\u00ebsohet n\u00eb nj\u00eb proces t\u00eb till\u00eb martesor at\u00ebher\u00eb rruga e p\u00ebrpjekjeve p\u00ebr ta \u00e7uar k\u00ebt\u00eb martes\u00eb drejt suksesit \u00ebsht\u00eb pa krye. Ndaj n\u00eb k\u00ebto raste sugjerohen divorcet. N\u00eb Amerik\u00eb 75 p\u00ebr qind e martesave kan\u00eb rezultuar t\u00eb tilla. Nga ana tjet\u00ebr partner\u00ebt e kan\u00eb gjetur veten t\u00eb p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb lidhje t\u00eb tjera, lidhje tek t\u00eb cilat kan\u00eb gjetur shp\u00ebtimin dhe motivet p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat ia ka\u00a0 vlejtur lufta p\u00ebr dashuri.<\/p>\n

Q\u00ebndrimi vet\u00ebm,\u00a0 b\u00ebn m\u00eb mir\u00eb\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nd\u00ebrsa jeni n\u00eb mendime se si t\u00eb arrini nj\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb d\u00ebshiruar para ceremonis\u00eb suaj martesore, reflektoni n\u00ebse jeni n\u00eb gjendje ta arrini vet\u00eb, me partnerin tuaj apo me miqt\u00eb dhe t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit. N\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e rasteve sugjerohet q\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrgatiteni p\u00ebr dasm\u00ebn vet\u00ebm. Kur jeni me dik\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb vendosni kontroll mbi zakonet dhe sjelljet nd\u00ebrvepruese t\u00eb komunikimit. Kjo shkakton v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi n\u00eb menyr\u00ebn se si mund t\u2019i kontrolloni ju emocionet tuaja. Vet\u00ebm kur jeni vet\u00ebm do t\u00eb keni hapsirat e mjaftueshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb rikrijuar emocionet dhe gjendjen m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb psikologjike.<\/p>\n

Mir\u00ebkuptimi, sukses i garantuar\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie e sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb martesore duhet t\u00eb ket\u00eb themele t\u00eb fort\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mbahet. Ndryshe ajo do t\u00eb rr\u00ebshqas\u00eb dhe do t\u00eb p\u00ebrfundoj\u00eb n\u00eb mossuksesin e saj. Por \u00e7far\u00eb duhet patur parasysh kur themi nj\u00eb themel i fort\u00eb martesor, \u00ebsht\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnia konfidenciale q\u00eb lind midis partner\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

Duhet t\u00eb dish t\u00eb kuptosh dhe mb\u00ebshtes\u00ebsh ashtu sikurse ndien nevoj\u00ebn t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetesh n\u00eb rrethana t\u00eb caktuara. Duhet t\u00eb dish t\u00eb argumentosh t\u00eb gjitha pik\u00ebpamjet dhe mendimet q\u00eb mund t\u00eb kesh n\u00eb lidhje me diskutime t\u00eb ndryshme. T\u00eb mir\u00ebkuptuarit \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb fakt shum\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm q\u00eb artikulon produktivitet n\u00eb raporte t\u00eb ndryshme. N\u00ebse shum\u00eb martesa kan\u00eb p\u00ebrfunduar n\u00eb divorc apo ndarje t\u00eb hidhura \u00ebsht\u00eb sepse partner\u00ebt nuk kan\u00eb ditur t\u00eb mir\u00ebkuptojn\u00eb, jo sepse n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha rastet ka munguar pasioni apo dashuria esenciale.<\/p>\n

\"\"Romanca nuk duhet t\u00eb mungoj\u00eb\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

T\u00eb krijuarit e momenteve t\u00eb bukura dhe plot ngjyra romantike \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb i duhet v\u00ebrtet nj\u00eb martese t\u00eb bukur e t\u00eb zgjuar. Kjo duhet t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb edhe para dit\u00ebve t\u00eb dasm\u00ebs. Ndoshta koha nuk do t\u2019ju premtonte por dashuria dhe afeksioni nuk duhet t\u00eb harrohet. Pasioni dhe t\u00eb qenurit romantik do t\u00eb ishin rekomandimet m\u00eb efikase p\u00ebr nj\u00eb martes\u00eb jet\u00ebgjat\u00eb. Nj\u00eb gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e sigurt. Romanca nuk e b\u00ebn t\u00eb bukur nj\u00eb martes\u00eb vet\u00ebm n\u00eb form\u00eb, por i jep vitalitet sidomos p\u00ebrmbajtjes s\u00eb saj. Martesa juaj nuk do t\u00eb plakej kurr\u00eb. N\u00ebse keni gjetur dik\u00eb me t\u00eb cilin do t\u00eb donit pambarimisht t\u00eb kalonit jet\u00ebn, at\u00ebher\u00eb gj\u00ebja e par\u00eb q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebni \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u2019i prezantoni atij hart\u00ebn e d\u00ebshirave dhe k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsive q\u00eb do t\u2019ju \u00e7onin n\u00eb romancat m\u00eb t\u00eb bukura t\u00eb pap\u00ebrjetuara.<\/p>\n

Fillimi i mbar\u00eb, gjysma e suksesit\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb fillim i mbar\u00eb me t\u00eb drejt\u00eb do t\u00eb ishte gjysma e suksesit. Nj\u00eb fillim i mbar\u00eb do t\u00eb n\u00ebnkuptonte gjith\u00e7ka. Nj\u00eb fillim i mbar\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb kuptuarin e partnerit, dh\u00ebnien ashtu sikurse pranimin e dashuris\u00eb, t\u00eb qenurit i p\u00ebrkushtuar n\u00eb zgjidhjen e shum\u00eb problemeve dhe interesave t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt, t\u00eb qenurit egoist p\u00ebr t\u00eb mir\u00ebn e t\u00eb dyve, do ishte nj\u00eb fillim i mbar\u00eb i nj\u00eb rruge t\u00eb gjat\u00eb. N\u00ebse konfliktet apo mosmarr\u00ebveshjet do dihen t\u00eb zgjidhen q\u00eb n\u00eb fillim at\u00ebher\u00eb dashuria do merrte tonalitete m\u00eb serioze dhe gj\u00ebrat do p\u00ebrvijonin drejt rrug\u00ebs s\u00eb mbar\u00eb e t\u00eb suksesshme t\u00eb martes\u00ebs s\u00eb zgjuar.<\/p>\n

Mos u zini para dasm\u00ebs\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Z\u00ebnkat dhe b\u00ebrja e tyre n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb her\u00ebpashershme sigurisht q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb vler\u00ebsohej pozitivisht. Megjithat\u00eb nga shum\u00eb sondazhe t\u00eb b\u00ebra \u00ebsht\u00eb kuptuar se p\u00ebrtej an\u00ebs s\u00eb erret z\u00ebnkat kan\u00eb edhe t\u00eb mirat e tyre. Shpeshher\u00eb ato t\u00eb motivojn\u00eb, b\u00ebjn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb rritet interesi midis partner\u00ebve, q\u00eb edhe pse \u00e7ojn\u00eb n\u00eb irritime emocionale rezultati do jet\u00eb pajtimi n\u00eb fush\u00ebn e betej\u00ebs. N\u00ebse \u00e7iftet nuk do t\u00eb ziheshin p\u00ebr asgj\u00eb, at\u00ebher\u00eb debati dhe interesi ndaj nj\u00ebri tjetrit do t\u00eb thot\u00eb se mungon. Z\u00ebnkat me sa duket kan\u00eb edhe an\u00ebn e tyre pozitive, sigurisht deri n\u00eb momentin q\u00eb e b\u00ebjn\u00eb martes\u00ebn t\u00eb \u201ck\u00ebrcej\u00eb\u201d n\u00eb pist\u00ebn e duhur, pasi z\u00ebnkat e tepruara sjellin vet\u00ebm rr\u00ebzimin e saj. Por ajo q\u00eb sugjerojn\u00eb psikolog\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb mos krijoni z\u00ebnka me partnerin tuaj ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht n\u00eb dit\u00ebt e p\u00ebrgatitje s\u00eb ceremonis\u00eb suaj. Dasma \u00ebsht\u00eb kuror\u00ebzimi i dashuris\u00eb suaj ndaj edhe pse mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb mundohuni t\u00eb evitoni zenkat dhe streset e krijuara me t\u00eb dashurin tuaj.<\/p>\n<\/div>

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